The Cost and the Gift - What Caregiving Means for Teens

Meet Alexis, a 15-year-old military teen whose dad returned home with a service-connected injury. Every morning before school, Alexis helps her father with mobility exercises, packs lunches for her younger siblings, and still manages to get herself out the door on time. At night, she studies with one ear open, ready to help if her dad needs assistance.

Alexis’s story reflects the real experiences of thousands of teens across military and civilian families.

The Gift: Empathy, Resilience, Leadership

Caregiving shapes young people in powerful ways. Teens like Alexis often develop:

Empathy — a deep understanding of what it means to walk in someone else’s shoes.
Resilience — the ability to adapt, endure, and rise above challenges.
Leadership — skills in organization, responsibility, and compassion that outpace many of their peers.

Many youth caregivers describe a strong sense of pride in being able to support their families. They are often the glue that holds the household together, a quiet source of strength during deployment, injury, or illness.

The Cost: Stress, Sacrifice, and Strain

But this gift comes with a cost. Research shows that caregiving youth are at higher risk for:

Anxiety and depression from constant responsibility.
Academic struggles when homework competes with caregiving duties.
Isolation as caregiving limits their ability to join clubs, sports, or social events.
Burnout from carrying adult-sized responsibilities while still navigating adolescence.

For military-connected teens, these pressures are magnified by frequent moves, disrupted friendships, and the weight of military culture that often discourages asking for help.

Two Realities in One Life

The truth is, caregiving youth live in two realities at once:

On one side, they are children and teenagers, with hopes for sports teams, college, and hanging out with friends.
On the other hand, they are caregivers, responsible for feeding, lifting, comforting, and leading.

They carry both identities with pride — but often without recognition.

Why Recognition Matters

Without visibility, the risks outweigh the benefits. But when caregiving is acknowledged, celebrated, and supported, the balance shifts. Caregiving youth can carry forward the gifts of empathy and leadership without being buried under the costs of invisibility and isolation.

That’s why programs like the Torch of Care Community Service Hours (TCCSH) are so important. By turning caregiving into credit, TCCSH transforms a hidden struggle into a recognized strength.

Looking Ahead

In our next post, we’ll look beyond America’s borders to see how other countries, and even a few U.S. programs, are already supporting caregiving youth, and what lessons we can bring home.