"What I Wish Existed When I Was a Military Kid: A Letter to 12-Year-Old Me"

Military Children Six Foundation
10 hours ago
7 min read

MILACON - Geek/Nerd Nation @ MCWE 2026

By Sarah Martinez, 34, Adult Military Brat | Tech Startup Founder | San Francisco, CA

Dear 12-Year-Old Me,

Right now, you're sitting in the library at Ramstein Air Base in Germany. It's 2004. You're learning HTML on a shared base computer because you don't have any friends and the internet is painfully slow.

You're teaching yourself to code because building websites is easier than building friendships you'll just lose in 18 months.

You feel alone. You feel weird. You feel like no one understands you.

I'm writing to tell you: it gets better.

But more importantly, I'm writing to tell you what I wish had existed back then.

Because if it had, maybe middle school wouldn't have been so hard.

I'm writing to tell you: it gets better.

But more importantly, I'm writing to tell you what I wish had existed back then.

Because if it had, maybe middle school wouldn't have been so hard

The Problem (That You Don't Have Words For Yet)

Right now, you think the problem is that you're shy.

You're not.

You think the problem is that other kids don't like you.

They do.

The problem is that you're tired.

You're tired of being "the new kid."

You're tired of explaining why you don't have photos from elementary school.

You're tired of teachers asking you to "tell the class about yourself" while 25 kids stare at you.

You're tired of making friends just to lose them.

You're tired of people saying, "Moving must be so cool! You're so lucky!" when it feels like the opposite of lucky.

And most of all, you're tired of being invisible.

Not invisible like people don't see you.

Invisible like people see you, but they don't get you.

They don't understand what it's like to:

Live in 4 countries before age 12
Have your dad disappear for 12 months at a time
Pack your room into boxes every 18 months
Say goodbye to your best friend knowing you'll probably never see them again
Start 6th grade at a school where everyone has known each other since kindergarten and you know no one

You're not shy. You're exhausted.

And no one sees that.

What You Do Instead

So you disappear into the internet.

You teach yourself HTML. Then CSS. Then JavaScript. You build your first website on Geocities (RIP). It's about military kid life, a digital diary of what it's like to move constantly.

You join forums. You find other kids online who get it, mostly other military brats scattered across bases worldwide.

You build worlds online because the real world never lets you stay long enough to feel like you belong.

And honestly? That saved you.

But here's what I wish had existed back then:

A place where you didn't have to choose between being a military kid and being a nerd.
A place where military brats who code, build, create, and innovate had a community.

A place like MILACON.

What MILACON Is (And Why I'm Crying Writing This)

MILACON is a convention, launching April 25, 2026, for military-connected kids (and adults) who are geeks, nerds, coders, makers, gamers, and creators.

It's Comic-Con meets STEM meets the military child.

And it's everything I needed when I was 12.

Here's what would've existed if MILACON had been around in 2004:

1. A Year-Round Online Community

Imagine if, instead of random military brat forums, there was a dedicated Discord server with: 2,000+ military-connected kids who code, game, build robots, draw comics, design games

Channels for every interest – #robotics, #coding, #gaming, #cosplay, #aerospace, #maker-projects
24/7 community – because we're scattered across time zones and someone's always online
A place where "I just PCS'd again" isn't met with silence, it's met with "Same, I'm on my 5th school. Want to collab on a project?"

You wouldn't have felt so alone.

2. An Annual Convention and Expo Where You Belong

Imagine if, once a year, you could go to a place where:

Everyone understands what a PCS is
Everyone has moved 5+ times
Everyone knows what it's like to lose friends, teams, and communities over and over

And instead of sitting in a circle talking about feelings, you could:

Show off the robot you built across 3 duty stations
Compete in a Capture the Flag hacking competition
Join a Mario Kart tournament with kids who've also lost their gaming squads 6 times
Showcase the comic you drew about life as a military brat
Learn about aerospace engineering from kids whose parents are stationed at Edwards AFB
Build a Raspberry Pi project with other maker kids
Cosplay as your favorite character and meet other military brats who sew costumes in base housing

You wouldn't have spent middle school feeling like you had to hide your interests.

3. A Leadership Program That Recognizes Your Superpowers

Here's what no one told you when you were 12:

Military brats have superpowers.

You can:

Adapt to anything (you've done it 6 times before age 12)
Start over without falling apart (because you've had to)
Make friends in 48 hours (survival skill)
Navigate new environments instantly (new school? new base? no problem)
Work independently (because you've learned to rely on yourself)
Think globally (you've lived in 4 countries)
But no one ever told you those were strengths.

MILACON has a Cadet Leadership Program (ages 13-22) that:

Pairs you with a mentor (an adult military brat or STEM professional)
Gives you a $250-$500 grant to build your project
Connects you with 100 other military-connected innovators
Provides leadership training, portfolio building, and career pathways
Tells you that being a military brat makes you better at innovation, not worse

You would've learned you weren't broken. You were built different.

4. Scholarships That Recognize Caregiving and Resilience

Here's something you don't know yet, 12-year-old me:

When Dad deploys to Iraq next year (2005), you're going to become Mom's support system.

You'll help with your younger brother. You'll manage the household. You'll comfort Mom when she's scared. You'll be 13 years old doing the emotional labor of an adult.

And no college application will ever ask about that.

They'll ask about sports. Clubs. Volunteer hours.

But not: "Were you a caregiver during your parent's deployment?"

MILACON's scholarship program recognizes that.

It funds military-connected kids in partnership with organization, donorswho:

Coded while moving 7 times
Built robots across 4 duty stations
Managed households during deployments
Learned to adapt, rebuild, and innovate because of military life
You would've gotten the recognition you deserved.

What Actually Happened (Spoiler: You Made It)

I'm 34 now.

I went to MIT (yes, really).

I founded a tech startup (we have 47 employees).

I'm happily married (to a civilian who still doesn't fully understand what "PCS" means, but he tries).

And I still think about that 12-year-old in the Ramstein library.

The one who felt invisible. The one who built websites because building friendships felt impossible. The one who thought she was broken.

She wasn't broken. She was just alone.

Why I'm Supporting MILACON

Last week, I donated an undisclosed amount to MILACON. It wasn't much but it was a start. Have you donated yet?

I'm sponsoring 10 military kids to attend the April 25 convention, full registration, travel, lodging.

I'm offering a summer internship at my company to one MILACON Cadet (paid, remote-friendly, for a high schooler or college student).

And I'm building a mentorship network of adult military brats in tech who want to support the next generation.

Because if MILACON had existed in 2004, my life would've been different.

Not because I didn't "make it." I did.

But because I wouldn't have spent 6 years thinking I was alone.

To the Adult Military Brats Reading This

You know who you are.

You're the ones who:

Moved 8 times before age 18
Learned to make friends fast and say goodbye faster
Built entire identities online because real life never let you stay
Felt like you were too much and not enough at the same time
Made it to adulthood wondering if anyone else felt the way you did
You weren't alone. There are millions of us.

And now, we can build the thing we wish had existed.

Here's How You Can Help:

1. Sponsor a Military Kid

$500 = Full MILACON registration + travel + lodging for one kid

$1,000 = Sponsor 2 kids

$5,000 = Sponsor 10 kids + fund a mentorship cohort

Donate: www.mcwef.org/milacon-sponsor

2. Become a Mentor

If you're an adult military brat (or military-connected) working in tech, STEM, creative industries, or innovation, sign up to mentor a MILACON Cadet.

1-on-1 mentorship. Monthly check-ins. Help them build projects, navigate careers, and know they're not alone.

Mentor signup: www.mcwef.org/milacon-mentor

3. Attend (Yes, Adults Are Welcome) April 25, 2026, in Arlington, Virginia "Home of the MIlitary Child.

MILACON isn't just for kids. It's for everyone who grew up military-connected.

Come meet the next generation. Come reconnect with your own inner 12-year-old brat. Come realize you weren't alone.

4. Share Your Story

If you're an adult military brat, write about it. Post about it. Tell people. Join the facebook group.

Because somewhere, a 12-year-old is sitting in a library feeling invisible.